Terror In Tokyo
by Hwikek
Summary: When Tokyo is under attack, how do the Azumanga characters respond?
1. The Chief of the Matter

I'm upset that my Recon helmet for the legendary edition of Halo Reach has dissapeared! That's like seventy dollars lost! Anyways here's a thing I left, after getting writing it out on a computer.

Yomi turned around dazed and saw 3 tanks further down the street. One had smoke rising from its barrel in slow lazy curves.

"Wh-what are you doing?" she yelled hysterically.

"Ma'am, please get out of the way. It is too dangerous here," said the megaphone.

"No, please, don't hurt her, she's our friend!"

But the tanks just kept moving forward. Desperately, she stood in the middle of the street with her arms spread out, trying to block the mechanical monsters' path. "You don't understand," she tried once again. "That monster is our friend, she remembers us!"

"Whoa, look out!" she heard Kagura shout from behind.

An angry Tomo jumped over her, like in that scene from Free Willy. The cat beast landed right in front of the the first tank and grabbed it by the barrel. With her strong arms, she swung the machine around, slamming it into another. Chunks of metal flew through the air. The first one was completely trashed, the second one had taken serious damage, but was still operational. Tomo solved this by punching through the armor and literally tearing it in two! The third aimed at her and was ready to fire, but she managed to jump on top of it in time. With a roar she slammed her fist into the vehicle. The cat like monster then turned away when a strange noise came out of the third tank, as Master Chief crawled out.

By this point Chief was über pissed because not only were they using T-80s, but they had also lost to some giant monster. That they had included him. _I'm the Master friggin' Chief!_ thought Master Chief, _I'm supposed to eat giant monsters for breakfast!_ Naturally Master Chief didn't focus on the the many times that he had run away from Hunters, Scarabs, and flood in tank form.

"Hey giant monster!" yelled Master Chief, "Did you really think that was all it would take to defeat me?" Giant Tomo gave a growl which caused Master Chief to piss his pants and start running around screaming, "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!" Then the Chief decided to make a desperate gamble to save his bacon.

"Hey giant cat monster! Do you know who the worst Halo character is?"

"Roawr?"

"The Arbiter!"

"Roawr roawr roawr!" Tomo laughed.

The sound of someone walking on pavement caught her attention. The monster turned its giant head around before shrinking back with a loud hiss. The figure strode towards Tomo as she spat. This was the part of Master Chief's plan that he was unsure about. But it was also the only way he could win.

"Hey Arbiter," said Chief, "You know that I was just kidding right? I mean you know that I don't really think you're the worst character and all because... Don't hurt me!"

"If it had been anyone else," said the Arbiter, "I would have stayed home. What do you need now?"

"Beat the crap out of that monster thing!" said Chief, "It's gone from killing spree to running riot!"

The Arbiter wasted no time with words. Slamming his fist into the cat monster's face he knocked Tomo into a nearby building. A giant of plume of gray and black dust blocked out the sun. The rubble exploded outwards as an inhuman roar shattered everything made of glass. Tomo slammed her fists into the road, leaving spiderwebs of cracks in the asphalt. Car alarms sounded for blocks as Tomo continued to let loose an angry scream. Matching the anger of her roar the Arbiter charged forward to meet his foe in hand to hand combat. Tomo slammed her fist into the Arbiter, sending him into the sky.

She then turned towards Master Chief, who had just wet himself for the third time that day. Yet as the angry beast roared above him, Chief stood tall. "I only have two words," the Master Chief told Tomo as she stood on two legs, ready to strike. "Armor lock, armor lock, armor lock, lololololol." Tomo roared in frustration as the Chief turned white and survived each of her devastating punches. Tomo could feel each of her blows shake the very earth she stood upon, yet the small human below her seemed unfazed!

"That is so cheap!" yelled Tomo.

"I'm just invincible," said Master Chief, "Lolololol."

"Oh my gawd!" said Osaka, "Tomo can speak again! It must have been due to her frustration with how Master Chief just keeps spamming armor lock! Now maybe we can reason with her—"

"Yeah no shit, Sherlock," said Kagura, "Everyone who's reading this has realized that by now."

And as the two teens began to argue something fell out of the sky. The street was crushed beneath the powerful impact. A tidal wave of asphalt and concrete went out in all directions. Water mains sprayed into the air. Gas leaks created jets of flame that sent civillians scurrying for something to stand behind. However the center of the crater was quite calm as the Arbiter got back onto his feet. Tomo lunged towards the elite with both of her arms stretched out, ready to shred him. She was surprised when she stopped. The Arbiter had intercepted her attack. Tomo let out a roar of surprise as she was swung into a nearby building. As a huge plume of dust began to blanket the city the Master Chief and the Arbiter stood confidently...until Tomo crushed them with her foot. After grinding her heel against the pavement judiciously, Tomo let out a roar of triumph, when something exploded into her back.

"Ha ha! That's an M1 Abrams for you bitch! Oh crap that thing is still alive!" Tomo then slammed her fist into the tank. "Ha! This armor can take an RPG round with ease! Just what the hell is punching gonna—" And then Tomo punched again.

At that moment a preassembled Russian military began to invade Japan.

"How did they get past our submarines without detection?" asked Admiral Yoshi.

"Our submarine captains were too busy reading manga, sir." Then the Admiral got super pissed and started beating the crap out of the Russian Navy with the Maritime Self Denfense Force. Then US Navy Sixth Fleet got pissed too, since the Japanese were the ones fighting the Russians, even though _they_ were the ones who had spent so long planning what to do if the Russians ever did attack. Together they beat back the hopelessly outmatched Russian invasion forces to the coast of Siberia, where they agreed to surrender. Except for those who had already landed in Tokyo. The U.S. Air Force then began to fight the Russian invasion forces and they were drawn into a long battle. U.S. Marines also joined the fight, but it was no where near as easy as the Naval fight had been.

A lone T-90 then went up against Tomo. And the tank had her on the ropes until a ninja strike team parachuted in with Javelin missile systems. But during the slight lull in fighting Tomo's strength became renewed and she ate the ninjas.

"Tomo!" The cat beast turned to see someone standing before her, someone she knew. Miss Kurosawa. "You need to stop doing this right now, or you will get detention!"

"NO!" screamed Tomo, "I can't get detention, my mom would kill me!"

"Then you'd better settle down this instant Missy!" But then Tomo realized she could just crush Kurosawa with her foot and she wouldn't get detention. But as she shoved her foot down, the girl felt resistance. This was because Minamo had put her Spartan armor back on, since she was also known as Noble Six.

"I'm telling your mom," said Kurosawa.

"No please!" said Tomo.

"Then you need to stop rampaging across the city."

"Fine." And with that, the nightmare was over. At least until Sakaki announced that she was pregnant with Master Chief's baby, due to accidentally agreeing to being a subject for testing a new method of artificial insemination.


	2. Reflection

Sakaki watched as the remains of the fifteenth Azumanga Brigade member were extracted from the burning ruins. The dark haired, but light hearted girl felt tears slowly drip off of her pale chin. The other Azumanga Brigade members slowly placed the remains into a box. The strange black material did not shine even though the sun beat down upon it. As each part of the former Azumanga Brigade member was placed into the box the material darkened even further. Soon the other members finished their somber task. With their heads bowed in respect the Azumanga Brigade stood silently as the box began to turn red.

_This is all my fault_, thought Sakaki. _I never should have suggested that we try to stop these monsters. How could I have really thought that we stood a chance?_ The girl looked down at her feet. _But how could I just sit there? How could I not suggest that we try to stop them? Those people were the reason that we had to hide in the first place. And we did manage to drive them back._

The box turned a light shade of blue as Sakaki continued to ponder the day's events. _I should have led this assualt_, she thought, _If I had she would still be alive! But we agreed that she needed to gain experience in leading the team. So was it really my fault, or was it the fault of all of us? We never expected her to lose—well she did win—but I never wanted us to become like this. I never wanted any of us to be unable to see our victories._

The box turned a bright yellow, mocking the sun with its pigmentation. _I can't let this happen again._ Red and orange cinders flew into the sky. _I'll never let somebody else do my work for me. _Flames crackled and popped, filling the ears of everyone present with what might as well have been the crunching of bones. Sakaki looked as the original members of the Azumanga Brigade clenched their fists. _I'll never send someone to their death._ The box turned white. The ceremony was over. The remaining members of the Azumanga Brigade turned towards the heart of the city. That was where they needed to go. _That's where everyone is counting on us to be._

_I won't let us lose anyone else. I won't let them steal another one of my friends._

Sakaki turned to see the faces of the others. They all seemed so young, despite the fact that most of them were just as old as Sakaki. Yet their eyes showed that they were no longer the same carefree girls they had once been. Such was the nature of the events that had transpired. This last battle had made sure of that. No one had expected the attack to be easy, but they had never expected to lose so many of their own. Five of them had been stolen away by the thieving hands of the unknown darkness. Their only consolation lay in the fact that the one who had taken so many lay dead underneath the piles of concrete and ash. They had all fought to keep their friends safe. No one had escaped without scars of somesort. For many they split their faces and hands, but for some they rested inside. But all of their pain, all of their sacrifices weren't for nothing. Or were they? Sakaki was no longer sure. It had been so easy to think that when the whole affair had begun. That had been before the newest members of the Azumanga Brigade had been ambushed. Before they had retreated across a bridge as it crumbled into the sea. When the feeling of the Earth shaking beneath their feet had yet to come. And before they had to watch people dying on the streets in droves. Sakaki saw the tears in her friends' eyes. _Now isn't the time to grieve, that can come later. Now is the time for anger, and maybe we can stop this insanity._

The remaining members raised their heads, as the box returned to its orignial shade of black. Sakaki wiped her face with the sleeve of her uniform. This had been a difficult day, and it was only going to get worse. The raven haired girl knew that this would be their final test, because the Azumanga Brigade couldn't last anymore. Before they headed towards the center of the city, Sakaki took one last look at the rest of their faces. She looked at Koyomi's face, a fractured lense hiding the fright in her eyes. She saw Tomo, her face no longer curved in its usual smile, replaced instead with the tortured grimace of someone who had seen enough death to last a thousand lifetimes. Kagura's normal optimism had been replaced with a deep anger, her burning eyes a monument to its intensity. Ayumu still whimpered from the recent loss, she was the only one among them that had changed the least. The spacey girl still drifted off at times, but she no longer did so with a smile on her face. _It's a good thing Chiyo isn't here to see this_, thought Sakaki, _She didn't have to see all of the pain._Sakaki watched as the skyscrapers in the distance swayed. _There are only twelve us._ A white cloud began to drift behind one of the tall buildings. _And now there are only eight of them._ She saw a small figure on the roof. The dark cloak around its body made her shiver with rage. The pale face of the man smiled beneath a mess of dark hair. _I don't know what's going to become of the Azumanga Brigade_, thought the girl. _But I know, that whatever happens next, I won't fall. Not until they're gone. Until that day comes—I will never rest._And with that the Azumanga Brigade marched towards their ultimate foes, and what would be the end, for they would never let these tyrants rule. Because they could never let those who would do evil win, without a fight. 


	3. The Nuclear Battleground

Sakaki watched as Duke Nukem kicked the fifteenth member of the Azumanga BriGAYde's ass. The dark-haired, nubile loli teen cried tears of desperate sadness, which slid down her cheeks and fell off the tip of her muscular jaw. The other Azumanga Brigade members turned to Duke, weapons raised as if they were going to fight, but they all knew it was futile.

"I'm not gonna fight you," said the American in his cool, smooth voice. "I'm gonna kick your asses." With their heads bowed in respect for Duke Nukem, the Brigade stood silently as the huge muscular Yankee finished them off.

"This is all my fault," mono-logized Sakaki to no one in particular. "I never should have suggested that we try to stop this monster! How could I have really have thought that we stood a chance?" The girl looked down at the upper half of Kaorin's head, which lay at her feet. "But how could I just sit there? How could I not suggest that we try to stop him?" she continued to bitch, "he was the reason that we had to hide in the first place. And we did manage to smash one of his balls."

_Now is the time to do something cool_, said a voice in Sakaki's head, _do it before someone trolls this thing_.

The box turned a light shade of blue as Sakaki continued to ponder the depth of Guile's ass. "I should have led this assualt," she emo-ed. "For surely, 'tis nobler to take arms against a sea of turtles, than to proudly bear the punishment Duke can heap upon you! And lest I be remembered as a shameful loser, I proclaim to thee, oh watchful stars, that I shall bring doom most heinous upon Duke Nukem, as revenge for his crimes against the Azumanga Brigade."

_That wasn't cool at all_, said the voice in her head, _but it's _still _better than any of those fights in Naruto._

"Naruto isn't that bad," said Sakaki, "sure the action is dragged out but name one anime where it isn't."

_The Boondocks_.

"That's not an anime," said Sakaki, "that's a semi-offensive show that spams the n-word over and over."

_Oh come on, the eyes look just like anime eyes. You're right though they use that word a lot. I mean way too often, maybe we should send them a letter?_

"I think we have a bigger, blonder problem to deal with first."

_Correction, I'm just a voice, I don't have to do anything. Good luck emo!_

Sakaki cursed the voice in her head, which sounded suspiciously like James Earl Jones. Big blonde d-bag walked up to meet the black haired supposedly American teenage girl. She gave a slight gulp as she realized that Duke Nukem still had two loaded revolvers. The poor female person didn't know what to do.

"Hail to the king."

"No Duke Nukem!" Duke Nukem turned around to see his gay lover appear behind him. "You can't beat up more little teenage girls!"

Duke Nukem became super pissed and wanted to kick the guy's ass right then and there. But before he could the 5-oh came all up in here. Since the po-po had now arrived Duke tried his best to get his gay lover arrested, but the next day he found himself talking with a lawyer named Finch.

"Okay Mr...Nukem," said the lawyer, "I think we shouldn't continue trying to sue your...homosexual partner."

"He is my gay lover and he will be referred to as such," Duke Nukem replied.

"Right," said Finch, "but considering that 'trying to stop me from beating down this one girl' isn't a crime, I don't think we have a very strong case."

"What about the second idea?"

"No Mr. Nukem," said Atticus, "I don't think that trying to sue the Tokyo Police Department for 'freakin' arresting me' would work either, considering all of the damage that you caused."

"I should have known that you couldn't help me," said Duke, "You couldn't even save Tom Robinson." Nukem felt a chill go through his very soul as Atticus gave him a sickeningly polite smile. "I think it's time for me to go," said Duke managing to escape with his life due to the legendary tolerance of the Finch.

"I'm not gonna fight you," said Nukem to Sakaki as she tried to power up, "I'm gonna...I forget."

"HERE'S SOMETHING YOU'LL NEVER FORGET!"

Duke and Sakaki looked up to see a blue metallic shape fall from the sky. An asphalt crater lined the street as a seven foot tall shape rose from crouching on one knee. An orange polarized glare greeted their faces. Sakaki's heart skipped a beat in joy. Noble Six had appeared.

"Well if it isn't the Master Chief wannabe," said Nukem, "Just what do you hope to accomplish against the Duke?" With that the overly macho man fired a "hand cannon" at Noble Six since that's totally the best thing to do in any situation.

Noble Six raced towards Duke Nukem, energy shield crackling as the forty four caliber revolver rounds struck with a smack. Duke heard the click of an empty cylinder as he found himself face to face with Noble Six.

"THIS IS FOR ALL THE GIRLS OF THE WORLD!" Noble Six smashed her foot inbetween Duke Nukem's legs, crushing his last testicle and completely destroying the source of his power.

"You may have weakened me," said Duke, "But there is one person left for you to vanquish!"

"Bring him on," said the proud Noble Six, the only cool female Spartan II in the entire series of videogames, "I can take down Chuck Norris."

"His name," the Duke coughed, "is GORDON FREEMAN!"

A man in a strange orange suit walked up from behind, shoving a crowbar into Duke Nukem's skull. With a girly squeal the chauvanistic bastard died in high heels and a dress. Noble Six looked at him with his nasty goatee.

"Wow," said Sgt. Smith, "this is the stupidest showdown I've seen in a while. I mean look at what's happening. She's just making Freeman hit himself over and over."

"Stop it!"

"I'm not doing anything," said Noble Six, "You're the one who needs to stop hitting himself!" Gordon Freeman continued to get teased by the Spartan super soldier. This almost went on forever, but thankfully Sgt. Smith asked Noble Six what she was doing to which she replied, "Avenging the image of my big brother Master Chief. There are way too many Google Images showing this loser beating big brother with a crowbar!"


	4. The Ripped Off Time Slot

In the distance they could see police cars, firetrucks and armored vans coming

their way.

"AHHHHH!" The inmates instantly screamed and ran back inside. Yukari's face

instantly turned pale as her "valiant army" of drunks quickly lost heart and ran

for the nearby woods. The police rushed out of their vehicles and rushed to

apprehend them. Yukari had to find a way to save her rapidly collapsing front.

She sweated for seconds until another idea hit her.

"Hey, everyone~!" She hollered, waving her hand, "there's free booze in those

trucks!"

"FREE BOOZE! HOORAY!" They instantly came back and charged at the vehicles at a

thundering pace. The police screamed girlishly and dove behind their vehicles

for cover.

Suddenly a green uniformed Konoha ninja jumped on top of one of the armored

vans. He frowned at the cowardly officers below him and his eyes nearly rolled

into the back of his head as the "army" of Yukari's followers approached to try

to get free booze from the Popo.

Rock Lee paused for a moment before he froze.

"C-Captain Yamato?!"

"I requested that in case something like this happened Prime Minister Mihama

send me to deal with it," the Leaf Shinobi answered, "Lee, when did you start

drinking anyways? Never mind," he facepalmed, "I don't wanna know. Now I'll

have to stop all of you on my own!"

"Yeah right!" screamed a crazed Yukari, "You're no Kakashi Hatake!"

"Th-that was cold!" Yamato cried as his eyes began to well up in despair. Then

he became extremely angry and was about to seal them away with one of his most

powerful Wood Style techniques when Yukari interrupted him again.

"Go back to your white haired boyfriend!"

"He is not my boyfriend!" Yamato squealed like Kaorin would if she saw someone

kiss Sakaki, on the mouth! "I respect him a lot but I don't—"

"Liar, the whole reason you learned Wood Style was simply to be able to use that

on him for yaoi sex!" Yukari shrieked and Yamato shook his head from side to

side just like Kaorin did when she admitted to Osaka that she was a lesbian...or

did she? And by now Yamato had heard enough and was so ready to stick a rusty

kunai in Yukari's ass. He jumped down from the van and formed his hands into a

rapid fire blur of speed.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" he screamed as he was about to unleash hell on poor Tanazaki

when suddenly he saw a black gloved hand grab his wrist. He looked up and felt

his face redden like a tomato since Kakashi Hatake was standing beside him.

"Hi Denzo."

"Kakashi-senpai...I'm Yamato now!"

"You'll always be Denzo to me," said Kakashi as one of his hands was brought up

to rest against the side of Yamato's face. The BAMoFo gave Yamato that smile

where he closes his eye because otherwise he looks the damn same.

"Wha-what are you saying Kakashi?"

"Shhh," he whispered, "don't ruin this moment."

Yamato's face turned into the same form that Kaori's would if Sakaki gave her a

hug in a swimsuit and Yamato's mind temporarily shut down as he felt joy fill

his heart. Meanwhile...

Yukari was busy trying to lead the group past the cop cars in order to reach the

fabled city of Tokyo, which was almost mythical to them because it still had

booze. "Come on you guys!" she ordered as she ran past the barricade, "with

that genjutsu we totally have him—!" Yukari gulped as she saw Yamato standing

in front of him. "What the hell?"

"You honestly thought that I would fall for the oldest trick in the book?" asked

Yamato. The ninja captain shook his head from side to side in disappointment.

"I'm not a Jonin because I'm an idiot. This is insulting. Now I'm seriously

going to trap you all in a giant wooden jail that you won't be able to escape

from." The Jonin formed some more hand signs before Yukari interrupted him

again.

"You're just mad because that wasn't really Kakashi!"

"THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT YOU IDIOT!" Yamato pulled out a kunai.

"BRING IT ON YOU WANNABE NYAMO!" Yukari cried as she pulled out a zanpakutō,

"We'll settle this here and now!"

"Whose is that?" asked Rock Lee.

"It looks like Captain Hitsugaya's!" yelled Renji who had been so drunk in his

geigai that he'd been unable to beat up the cops he had picked fights with.

"Why would she have that?" Lee questioned.

"Because," Yukari's voice explained with great presence, "when your sword turns

blue your beer is as cold as the Rockies!"

"Hold up," said a Coors attorney, "you are just asking for it Miss Tanazaki! We

are going to sue you for every cent you're worth and then some! By the time

we're done you'll have accumulated more debt than Bill Gates has accumulated

wealth!" The attorney grabbed a white document and a pen out of his briefcase.

"Just what do you have to say for yourself?"

Yet despite the claim Yukari seemed unperturbed. She flipped him the bird

before yelling, "Reign over the frosted heavens, Hyōrinmaru!" The attorney

nearly managed to shit his pants as a giant ice dragon appeared and then froze

his ass before breaking it into a bunch of tiny pieces.

"Wood Style: Wood Dome!"

Yukari was instantly trapped within a strange prison. Yamato watched as the

wood suddenly froze and Hyōrinmaru rose out of the rubble which remained.

"Try again you loser!" Yukari screamed as Hyōrinmaru lunged at the ANBU member.

Yamato dodged the frozen death dragon. "Wood Style: Four Pillar Prison Jutsu!"

A giant wooden cage surrounded the other drunkards. Yamato then threw a mess of

shuriken at Yukari. Hyōrinmaru blocked the deadly steel just in time. Yukari

watched as Yamato used another Wood Style jutsu. She used Hyōrinmaru to freeze

it solid and tried to hit Yamato with her stolen zanpakutō. Yamato used Earth

Style to block the attack before he attacked her with taijutsu. Yukari and

Yamato traded lightning fast blows before Yukari used flash step to get behind

him.

"Your ass is grass now," she whispered as Hyōrinmaru raced down towards Yamato.

He tried to move but his feet were frozen in place by the power of the ice

zanpakutō called Frozen Ring. Yamato's hands were also frozen together making

him unable to use hand signs. For a moment it looked like he had reached the

end of his ninja days. He closed his eyes in regret when he heard a strange

noise fill his ears. A flash of movement sliced the ice dragon in two and the

ice containing Yamato shattered. He looked up to see Kakashi, Sai, and Naruto.

"I was hoping that you could handle some drunks on your own," Kakashi teased,

"you really are all talk aren't you?"

"It's the me of Naruto!" Yukari cried.

"I fail to see the parallelism," said an emotionless Sai who then stared at

Naruto in a creepy manner that was a little too "friendly" for some people.

"I'll clobber this idiot!" yelled Naruto, right before Yukari froze and

shattered his balls. The blond moron cried in pain as everyone short of Sai

rolled their eyes.

"Maybe now he'll shut up for once," Kakashi said to Yamato when the Naruto

disappeared into a cloud of mist.

"I fell for that?" Yukari screamed.

"Rasengan time!"

Yukari looked up to see a giant blue ball appear in the air above her. "No

thank you I do not want giant balls in my face, I'm a lesbian!" she yelled but

Kakashi and Yamato had a firm grip on her arms. Sai was busy drawing naked

pictures of all the guys trapped in Yamato's jutsu and couldn't care less about

what else was going on. The rasengan came closer and closer and Yukari was

worried that she wouldn't get to her booze because she'd be put back into rehab.

"Don't worry." Yukari heard a strange from out of the blue. "I'll handle

this." She saw the rasengan become blocked by a man with a strange straw hat

that looked like one of those things that old movies showed Chinese farmers in.

"Captain Kyōraku? Why are you here?"

"I have to help anyone who fights to protect the sacred booze," replied as

Naruto got super pissed that some Bleach character was blocking his rasengan.

Kyōraku then knocked the knucklehead away before he slashed at the kid. Naruto

used a kunai to protect himself from the sharp sword and then felt his blood

boil with rage.

Kakashi watched as Yoruichi roundhoused Yamato in the face before turning to

face him. "We are so pwned," he whispered, about the same time that Yoruichi

slapped him to the ground and stomped him in the nuts.

"Gee thanks!" said Yukari as Naruto called truce and Sai promised Soifon that he

would draw special pictures for her. "But how will I get to Tokyo?"

"If you give me Hitsugaya's zanpakutō I'll use flash step to get you there,"

said Yoruichi.

Yukari quickly found herself in front of Chiyo and her friend's who were by the

ocean.

"Oh man!" Tomo jumped with joy, "Yukari's here!" She ran to Yukari like a

little kid.

"What is it, Tomo?" She asked.

"Miss Yukari," the wildcat whined, "Chiyo's gonna dump all the booze into the

sea."

"What," she cried and then asked, "What do you want?"

"She won't give me booze—" But Tomo was cut off when Chiyo kicked her out of the

way and into the sea.

"Cease and desist, Yukari, this instant," the prodigy Prime Minister ordered, "I

thought I put you away in rehab."

"That's what you think you little brat," she hissed, "I broke out of rehab."

"How?"

"Viva la Revolucion!" She shrieked, "Alalalalalalalalala!" She ululated like

Achmed from Family Guy. Then she sent a death glare at Chiyo, "Give me all that

booze!"

"Never, Miss Yukari!" Chiyo replied firmly.

"I'll throw you into the sea!"

"Oh really? I just kicked someone about thirty feet away. I'm like Frieza

practically!" the normally sweet child snapped, "and besides Sakaki and Kagura

are here as well!"

Yukari had had just about enough of this weird ass day and formed a fighting

stance as did Chiyo. The two of them were about to rip each other to shreds

when they heard some incoherent mumbling as the drunken pair of Minamo and Kuroi

appeared out of nowhere! Chiyo and Yukari looked like Yomi did whenever Osaka

suddenly shouted non sequiturs.

"Miss Kurosawa and Miss Kuroi, I am very disappointed in you two!" said Prime

Minister Mihama, "what the crap is going on today?"

"We got shithammered off of the free booze in that truck over there!" they

happily squealed before noticing each other out of the corners of their eyes.

Minamo licked her lips and Kuroi gave the PE teacher a coy smile. Nyamo wrapped

an arm around Kuroi's torso and pulled her closer in a drunken stupor.

"Kagura, arrest them both!"

"But I can't arrest Coach!" the tomboy cried since she was Kurosawa's Soifon.

Yukari was slinking towards the booze filled truck while Chiyo was distracted when she saw Nyamo holding Kuroi in her arms. The English teacher felt like she was trapped within a dark fog.

And when she saw them kiss she fell to her knees.

"NOOO!" she screamed, "MINAMO, WHY?!"

And Minamo paused for a second and turned towards the sound. "Oh hey Yukari!

You wanna jooooiiiin uuuus?" she hiccupped.

And then Yukari just started sobbing as her love went back to making out with a

Lucky Star conglomerate of her and Minamo.

"If it makes you feel any better," said Kagami, "you could do worse."

"How?" Yukari asked the math teacher.

"You could be attracted to Hwikek."

"Oh yeah, that is worse!"


End file.
